Post #42 - I got a million of 'em, ladies and germs

I finally got tested yesterday. The bad news? They people doing the tests had so little idea of what they were doing, they tried to give me a pap smear.

The good news?

It came back negative.


Hope Hicks runs breathlessly into the oval office.
"Mr. President, I've got good news and bad news?"
"What's the good news."
"Nancy Pelosi just tested positive for the virus."
"What's the bad news?"
"She was just shaking hands with Dr. Fauci."
"What's the bad news?"


I watch MSNBC so compulsively that I'm less worried about getting the virus than I am about constipation and Crohn's Disease.


Fauci and Birx walk into the oval office.
"Mr. President, we have some great news for you."
"We found two models we really like. Why don't we join you as you  go over them."
"I didn't know you two were into that, but sure, bring them in."


Here is how things have changed in America so radically in the last three months: Is there any sane person in this country who *wouldn't* want Trump to be playing golf in Mar-a-Lago full time?


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