Post # 14 Dispatch from Missouri: A Blue Dot in a Red State

Susan in Missouri Reports:

“How’s everybody enjoying their Socialism test run?”

“That is my awesome President!! He truly loves this country and wants what’s best for us all, even the haters! TRUMP2020”

“you are sick to buy into this coronavirus has anything to do with him!! typical liberal shit”

 “Make America a Shithole, vote Democrat”

 “Trump 2020 fuck your feelings, we’re going to re-elect the motherfucker”  

 “He won Missouri, so Democrats can stfu lol”

There is a tiny spot of optimism in my heart that sees these social media posts or memes and thinks, “That’s a bot, of course.” But the rest of my brain, the part that has developed after more than twenty years living where I do, knows better. These are my neighbors. These are the people who chat me up at the grocery store, share a pew with me at church, and avoid PTO meetings just like I do. But they don’t think like I do. I’m a little blue dot in a bright red state. All of those quotes? They’re from a Facebook page for residents of my town.

There are 114 counties in Missouri, only three of them are democrat and I do not live in any of those three. I thought that the 2016 election was hard; I felt that wearing a “Nevertheless she persisted” shirt, and a fetching pantsuit with a yellow Suffragist rose pinned to the lapel when I voted was being bold. I knew that of the several thousand in my town that visited the polls that day, I was in the gross minority voting a straight dem ticket. The following week, I thought it was hard living in such a conservative area when I went to church and side-eyed the congregation knowing that a great number of them voted for the current inhabitant of the Oval Office. It was hard to accept the constant barrage of, “You lost, accept it” if I said anything negative about their choice.

But I was wrong, I didn’t know what “hard” meant until I saw and heard my neighbors when the Coronavirus pandemic reached US shores.

Denial.

Ridicule.

Belittling.

Slow to action.

Politicizing. It wasn’t the small handful of democrats in that Facebook group, it wasn’t the left leaning people that I know offline…it was the rest that thought it was being blown out of proportion; it was the rest that mirrored the words and attitude of the president. As other state leaders stepped into action to do their state’s part in leveling the curve, the one I live in did not.

Finally, they hit acceptance.

But all those quotes up there? They aren’t from those pre-acceptance days, they’re from the last few days as counties finally began to give official orders to shelter in place. At this moment, my governor has not. But while there is still blame of a Chinese attack on the world and still YELLING that the disabled and elderly don’t deserve any stimulus check—the amount of posts are decreasing. The number of neighbor-helping-neighbor discussions are on the upswing. My biggest saving grace is that each day, in that group, that demographic microcosm of this state, more and more people are speaking up against those who use “snowflake” and “butthurt” and “libtart” in place of commas.

How am I coping with this now? The same way I’ve been coping for twenty years and have amped up in the past four: I sigh a lot and continue to vote knowing that my vote won’t count for anything.
I’ve become fluent in Fox Speak, and (to be honest) I often shield myself in a morally and intellectually superior attitude.

I felt awkward when I voted in 2016, I’ve grown distrustful since then and not having trust in my government- state or federal- during a literal life or death situation is what’s really hard.

I’m afraid to find out what’s harder.